Sunday, July 11, 2010

As The Chateau Turns-episode the big breakfast

The Big Breakfast
episode:1 of 2


Well folks... things have been a bit slow in the chateau. Some of the long timers have moved on. It seems that R's rent increases along wit the sad job economy has made it so that many can't afford to live there anymore. R has had to open the place up to by the hour rentals and boy does it show. Just look at those random drive by comments in the place now. Honestly, I don't now how the few regulars left can take it.

This is a tale from better times.

One glorious spring day breakfast was being made for the chateau residents.

Dave from Hawaii, always an early riser was up at about 6 am. When dave came down to the kitchen, he found a brooding Whiskey and bottox sitting on a stools.

Buttox was eating a banana and his stool was flipped upside down.

Whiskey to dave: "hey dave, howse it going"

dave in hawaii "oh, everything is okay. I had my red pill this morning, now I'm going out to hunt for something to eat."

*whiskey goes into fanboy beta mode*

whiskey: really dave? Oh boy dave can I come.

Dave from hawaii takes a minute to think. Alphas always keep their inferiors waiting.

Alright whiskey you can come.

Whiskey to dave : I'll be back in two minutes, just need to gather up my hunting supplies.

*whiskey runs up to his room like a gang of ugly feminist with pink guns are after him*

*whiskey tears his room apart looking for his buffy the vampire hunting knife and matching sword belt*

meanwhile...

Dave in Hawaii grows anxious to spill some blood, and decides to go hunting without whiskey.

remember folks alphas are less denatured than beta who have been debowed by the awful femanazi's and their worthless laws.




Just as Dave in Hawaii walks into the wooded area that surrounds the chateau, bigfoot runs across dave in hawaii's path. Dave dosn't miss a step, bigfoot looks at dave , screams and takes to his heels.

one hour later...

Dave from Hawaii makes his way back to the chateau. He walks into the kitchen and slams a two dear, 5 ducks, a couple of rabbits, 7 possum, a pair of squirrels, 1 muskrat and a blk bear onto the counter for the help to cook.

Dave's wife is shocked and fixes her mouth to tell dave that she won't be cooking half of what he brought in but one super duper alpha look from Dave makes her fix her lips firmly shut. In fact she gets a case of the tingles.

A sad looking Whiskey's eyes grow bigger than saucers.

whiskey : Gee dave, howdya kill all those animals dave.

A still hyped up Dave looks down at whiskey and says " with this my good blue pill taking friend, a boy scout knife that i've been using since I was a small boy".

Whiskey :shock:

whiskey stammers :You... you... you .....mean that's all you needed. wow dave you really are alpha.

On que, Dave struts out of the kitchen back up to his room to shower before breakfast.

Two hours later...

Everyone is getting ready to come out to the deck to enjoy brunch.

let it be said that the alphas of the chateau are like no other. all are good dancers and everyone can strut with the best of them.

just as chic noir and default user where making there way down the hall. They spot doug 1 warming up and taking a sip of lemon tea to prepare for his alpha strut onto the veranda . Doug looks like a strapping AARP alpha in his blk silk pinstripe pajamas.

*Doug 1 clears throat to bellow out his first note*

Just as doug1 opens his mouth wide ... he hears.....

Boom bat boom boom pat

doug 1 to bhetti md " what the hell is that"

*bhetti shrugs shoulders*

5 seconds later we all know. It's Obsidian/mu being carried like an Egyptian king in a caravan with a marching band high above the betas. Brown Sugar's directing the group. Obsidian pauses for a moment to greet doug.

Obsidian to doug1 " go morning there doug, I see you're wearing your vintage satin pajamas"

doug to obsidian " They aren't satin their silk and I just brought them last week"

Obsidian to doug " well I hope you brought them on sale cause they look like there going to fall apart any moment now." " You know we alphas must look good if we expect to keep the attention of the women in our lives"

*Mu nods head to bhetti*

*doug 1 fumes*

doug1 mumbles to self " that smooth Shaft ,billy D williams, fast talker. always besting my alpha"

Just as Obsidian is ready to tell his caravan to move on...

he spots Jamilla coming out of her room

*mu grows horns*

Mu said to Jamilla with a devilish smile: "why hello Jamilla, I trust you had a lonely and frustrated night sleeping due to tossing and turning since your attitude and chasisty has turned all the brothers away. "

Jamilla gives mu a mona lisa smile before firing back: "Well that sounds better than the night you had, tossing and turning cause you were itching and scratching from something or should I say someone you picked up."

Mu/Obsidian grows so angry that he almost falls out of his hoisted 1000 thread count silk sheeted bed.

*doug 1 laughs.*

Mu gives doug a look that could melt snow in 0 degree weather.

doug1 uses the opportunity to start his strut.

doug1 opens up wide like buttox at nethan's hotdogs and sings

♫whose an alpha bow
I'm alpha hey now

anouckage comes over in a flimsy Chantal Thomass silk nightgown to tell doug1...

"je t'aime. Vous beacoup le Alpha garcone. Vous êtes un homme étonnant. "

out of nowhere, dreammer comes and flings her body onto doug1.

dreamer : Oh doug you have no idea how much I love you, you are such an intelligent man, please call me, email me ,text me ... do something to me.

doug 1 turns to give the jealous betas a crap eating grin. He enjoys the hatraid of the betas just a tiny bit.

doug1 keeps strutting without missing an beat.


to be continued...

7 comments:

Default User said...

Not bad chic.

I will have to check back for part 2.

Chic Noir said...

Why thank you default. Oh part two will be a delight :)

maurice said...

you left me out again. sheesh.

vinoth said...

Hi you do have a wonderful blog...thus am commenting on your blog...its nice contents also it helps me for a non-native speakers towards the language.. I dropped comments..

Also you can visit my blog if u have time..drop comments if you like..follow the blog if you are blog lovers means...

keep in touch as a blogging friend and so...thanks

Chic Noir said...

I

Chic Noir said...

@Maurice- your in part 2, I promise.I tried to fit you into part one but no go.

@vinoth- thank you very much. I will vist your blog too.

ddl said...

There was a golden age of roissy.

Currently a silver age.